Past Mistakes
by FreyReh
Summary: Zoey Jones is trying to get over her ex the best way shecan… by dating other guys. Sadly, her choice in men lately hasn't been great and she often needs help getting rescued by her cousin Casey, who so happens to be her ex's best friend…
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This was originally going to be a one-shot but now I'm thinking a two OR three parter.

Title: Past Mistakes

Summary: Zoey Jones was a tough and independent woman trying to get over her ex the best way she knew how… by dating other guys. Sadly, her choice in men lately hasn't been great and she often needs help getting rescued by her cousin Casey, who so happens to be her ex's best friend…

Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst  
>Pairing: RaphOC  
>Rated: T for strong lang<p>

Dis: Don't own TMNT!

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A brunette woman locked the door to her bathroom, pulled down the cover to her toilet, and sat down on it while dialing a familiar number. She held her breath, keeping tabs on any sudden movements or noises outside the bathroom door with the phone held to her ear trying to make a connection. Her legs bounced while she bit her thumbnail. A nervous air surrounded her and it wasn't until the person on the other end answered that she sighed in relief.

"Y'ello!"

"Code red," she hissed into the phone, afraid that if she spoke any louder the person on the other side of the door might hear.

"What?"

"Code. RED," she bit out, getting irritated.

"Again? Didn't ya just have me over dere two days ago?"

"Casey!" The female winced, and didn't speak again until she was certain the other person didn't hear her. "Look, he just isn't getting the hint, and unless you want to bail me out of jail because I assaulted a guy."

"Do it! Police will take your word on it."

"You owe me," she hissed into the phone.

"Oh yeah?"

"Next time April's on your case, who is going to speak on your behalf?"

A pause, then: "You sure know how to get a guy to do what you want, Zoey."

"No, because if I did, this loser would be out of my apartment. What I DO know is how to blackmail someone into doing something for me."

"How difficult is this one going to be?" he asked. She could hear him moving, probably gearing up for the fight to come.

"Ugh, he ordered a double scotch before the waitress could open her mouth and ask us what we wanted. He ordered me a wine that tasted like ass and finished it off for me before we left. Drunk as a skunk and really I could toss him out if I REALLY wanted to but…" She sighed deeply. "Please? This will be the last call you get in a while. Promise."

"Yeah. All right just… give me a few."

"He's standing there. Isn't he?" His silence spoke volumes and she understood. "Okay. I'll see you in a few."

Hanging up she closed her eyes and rubbed them. She was suddenly tired. Drained. How awkward it must've been for Casey to be speaking to his cousin while his best friend (and his cousin's ex) was standing right there. Zoey had to admit Casey did his best to keep the relationship strong but it wasn't until a month ago when she called, begging him to help her get a guy out of her place that'd hit her pretty good with a right hook, that their relationship started to get back on track after the breakup.

Two years ago, her world had been turned upside down when Casey arrived at their grandmother's farmhouse. She had no idea he'd been coming, and he'd had no idea she was there. Her car had been giving her problems on the way down so she'd driven it into the barn and put it up on blocks to check it out. One morning, she'd seen his familiar, beat up van pulling down the driveway. She'd been upstairs so the time it'd taken her to jog down the stairs, slip on a coat and shoes, and open the door was enough time for four, overly large turtles to exit the said van.

A declaration of being crazy, assurance from all that she wasn't, and her asking herself if perhaps she'd drunk a little too much tequila the night before and perhaps she was in a coma later… she was soon convinced she wasn't crazy and heard their story. Quickly she'd warmed up to them. Especially Raphael. Six weekslater they were dating and though at times they got into heated arguments they'd quickly fallen for each other.

It all changed the night Hun had wanted to come after her to hurt Casey. Hun had found the shell cell on her person and putting two and two together, dragged her to the Shredder, which may have saved her life. It was no question what Hun might've done to her had he not found the phone. Thinking of it now, she put her hand to her chest and frowned. She'd almost died that night, not only because of the blood loss, but because that was the night the love of her life decided that it was too dangerous to be with her.

Now, eight months after their breakup, she was trying to move on… without much success.

"Yo! You okay in there? You fall in or what?"

"Just a sec," she said, flushing the toilet for appearances sake. She washed her hands as well and was soon opening the door. She smiled at her date of the night. He was cute. Had a PhD in Biochemistry and worked in a lab in the city. Not once did he make her feel dumb or stupid… until he had a few drinks in him. Then he'd turned rude but some false hope in her still had her inviting him up for coffee in hopes of sobering him up and transforming him back into the gentlemen she'd met. BIG. MISTAKE.

"Look, it's getting late," she said. "Maybe we can continue this some other-"

"What's the rush?" he asked hands moving to her shoulders. She'd worn a strapless, red dress that barely fell to the knee. It was tight enough to show her curves but lose enough to enable movement. She was soon out of his reach but her skin crawled where he'd touched her.

"I'm tired. Call me tomorrow and…"

"I paid for our meal," he said condescendingly. "The least I could get for my efforts is a little-"

"Oh DO finish that sentence jackass and I promise you that what you'll get for your efforts is a fist in your face," she said, blue eyes blazing while her hands clenched at her sides.

He took a step toward her but a wild pounding at her front door had them both twisting their heads toward it.

"ZOEY! Let me in!"

"Oh no," she said, pretending to be a little scared.

"Who the hell is that?"

"My ex. Casey. Look, not that you deserve it, but for your protection, we're JUST friends."

"Protection?"

"He's a little batshit crazy," said Zoey, rushing to the door. "Hold on." She opened it a crack then whispered so only Casey could hear. "Thank GOD you're here. I almost decked him."

Casey pushed his way in and the man she was on the date with balked at his size and took a step back. Casey pointed a finger at him.

"Who the hell are YOU?"

"NO one! No one at all… I, uh, needed to borrow a cup of sugar!"

"I don't see no sugar!" Casey's eyes narrowed. "You moving in on MY girl? Just cause she put me in the hospital last week don't mean I still can't come by to keep guys like you away from what's MINE."

"I'm not YOURS, Casey," said Zoey, trying to sound irritated.

"She put you in the hospital?" asked the guy, Darren, paling a little.

"Yeah. Cracked two of my ribs," said Casey who then pulled Zoey in for a one-armed hug. "Still love her though."

"Yeah. Right. Look, Zoey, about tomorrow? That might not work out. Ever. Sorry to have bothered you. I…BYE!"

Darren rushed out, leaving the cousins alone. Before, Casey laughed, but he was no longer seeing this in an amusing kind of way. In fact, he was starting to get a little annoyed with his cousin and best friend. As she closed and locked the door he went to her fridge, grabbed a beer, and then went to his usual spot on the sofa. He ignored her glare while he propped his feet on the coffee table, twisted the cap off his beer, and took a long swig of the beer while flicking the cap to the glass surface.

"Thanks. I appreciate you-"

"I'm gettin' tired of this, Zo."

"Excuse me?" she asked, hand on hip.

"This," he said, gesturing around him. "Coming here at odd hours to chase away sleezeballs you drag up here. He's hurtin'."

"HE broke up with ME," she said through clenched teeth. "While I still had a hole in the chest!"

"He was scared! Still is that he'll lose ya because of what he is and what he stands for! He has a shit load of enemies and doesn't want ya gettin' hurt again!"

"I know!" shouted Zoey. "But no matter what I said before…" She sighed, hands rubbing her face before she sank down beside her cousin. "He doesn't want me around."

"He was there, by the way. If you'd seen the look on his face when I told him you had a date tonight… like last time-"

"Last time?" she asked, perking up to look at her cousin. "What about last time?"

"When that guy decked ya, he heard you sobbing on the other end and the guy yelling… he came with me, scared out of his shell. Let's just say when I was done with him, Raph finished the job."

"What do you mean '_finished the job'_?" asked Zoey, blue eyes wide with fear. She knew how Raphael got sometimes and if he'd been as angry as Casey… She shivered now just thinking about it. Never would she ever think he'd hurt her in a lethal way but some random stranger?

"His ugly mug got colored black and blue," said Casey.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"He told me not to."

"Damn it Case!" she said, fists clenching, tempting to smack him a good one upside the head.

"He's my friend! I'm not gunna rat him out!"

Zoey took a deep breath, ready to yell at him some more, then exhaled. The need to fight him left her immediately. This was something she promised she wouldn't do. She said she'd never pull Casey into anything having to do with her relationship, or lack thereof, with Raphael. Once again she leaned back into the couch; eyes closing as her energy suddenly went down to zero.

"I'm sorry. Like I said, you won't be getting another phone call for a long, LONG time."

"Good. Not that I mind knocking some skulls for ya," he said, his muscled arm pulling her in against him. She grunted, digging her elbow into his side before standing.

"I'm going to go change out of this," she said. "You going out tonight?"

"Nah," he said, rising from the couch himself. "Ape wants me home tonight."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks again, Case," she said and he nodded before heading out the door.

Alone, she locked the door, and slowly her forehead drooped against the wooden surface. She took a moment, breathing in and out, to compose herself. It'd taken her for a loop, she had to admit, finding about Raphael knowing of her assault. A small part of her was angry at him for getting involved, another small part of her was angry he didn't check to see if she was ok. Tears threatening to fall, it took all her willpower to not run to the cabinet and pull out the rum. Instead she blindly reached for the light switch and shrouded her apartment in darkness. Using the light of the city that illuminated the room she walked down the hall to her bedroom. Her hands went to the side of the dress to unclasp it but she stopped with a startled yelp when seeing a large turtle sitting at the end of her bed.

He looked… defeated. His elbows rested on his thighs and his arms hung limp. His gaze was focused on the floor but slowly he looked up. His amber eyes were piercing and almost glowed in the dark room. She took a step back, hand on her chest, trying to compose herself.

"What the HELL, Raphael!"

"Zo…" He stood and she was vaguely aware of the sound of his knees cracking. "How… how are you?"

"Fine…" She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from him, but fully aware of him coming closer. "What're you doing here?"

"I had to see ya. Afta what Case said was goin' on."

"Well you saw me." She mustered her courage and hardened her eyes before staring at him. "Now you can leave."

"Zo…" He reached for her and she put up a hand to halt him. "Please don't be like dis."

"Like WHAT Raphael?" she asked. "Angry?"

"I came here ta talk, dammit!"

"Oh so NOW you want to talk! Too little too late!" She turned her back to him and turned completely tense when feeling his calloused hands on her shoulders. "Don't…"

"I still love ya," he whispered, one of his thumbs gently rubbing the skin at the nape of her neck. "Look at me."

She wanted to demand that he get out, that he go to hell and never come back. However, she ended up slowly turning around and meeting his gaze. He looked sad and her heart hurt, especially when a shaking hand came up to cup her cheek. It was too much and a tear she'd been fighting to hold in escaped, sliding down her smooth skin to land on his scarred finger.

"Don't…" He pulled her in and she automatically fell into his embrace. He felt softer, not as solid as he used to be, and she also noticed that his arms were thinner. "Don't cry."

"Raphael what have you been doing to yourself?" she asked softly, hands sliding down his arms. Her eyes closed as his embrace tightened, his face nuzzling against her hair. "Raph?"

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?" she asked, feeling her chest tighten.

"Stay away," he whispered.

"Raph…" She pulled away and since she immediately felt the loss of his contact she wrapped her arms around herself. She looked down, her dark hair curtaining her face. Two more tears fell from her eyes and she sniffled. She jumped when he touched her shoulder and she reared back. "No. NO! You don't get to just come in here and tell me this!"

"Zo…"

"NO!" Running shaking hands through her hair she turned away from him to compose herself once again. "I begged you not to leave me…"

"I know." He sounded pained. "I messed up. I shoulda neva let you go. I was…" He gave a small growl and even though she couldn't see him she knew his fists and teeth were clenched. "Scared. Ok? You almost died cause of me! I… I couldn't let somethin' like that happen to ya evah again."

"So you left me, your GIRLFRIEND, who took multiple stab wounds to the chest to save you… because YOU were scared. Well ya know what, Raph?" She whirled around, anger sparkling in her eyes and she almost laughed at the terrified look on his face. "FUCK YOU! Get the FUCK out!"

"Zo…"

"No. NO! You killed me, Raph. I died when you left me alone…" He reached for her and she pulled back and socked him on his beak-shaped nose. He gave a small growl as his hand came up to check for any sort of bleeding. "Get out."

"Damn it I'm tryin' to apologize!"

"Well you suck at it!"

"Zoey… dammit listen tah me. I made a mistake. Can't we… I mean I want…. I want us…"

She looked away, looking down at her feet.

"I can't. Not now." She looked up, blue eyes pained once more. "Maybe not ever."

Nodding, he backed away from her and went to the window he crawled in from. Some time ago, he used to come in the window and slide into bed with her after a patrol or a fight with Leo. He used to whisper about how much he cared for her and eventually how much he loved her. That he'd never let her go… Well, THAT'D been a lie.

Locking the window and drawing the curtains she waited a few moments before sinking to the floor, finally breaking down. Her shaking hands wiped the tears as they fell but more replaced them as her chest rocked with sobs. Suddenly feeling like her dress was suffocating her she practically ripped it off along with her strapless bra. She looked at her full length mirror and her haunted expression stared back at her while fingertips slid against three scars residing between her breasts. Shredder's metallic claws had almost ended her life and Raphael had walked away with the notion that leaving her alone would help protect her in some way.

Idiot. Fucking idiot! How dare he come in HER home and beg for her forgiveness now! A part of her wanted to make a fist and smash the mirror in front of her. Instead she slipped on a robe, walked back to the living room, and found the liquor.

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TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: In light of the holiday season I made this update revolve around the holidays! Enjoy!

Dis: Don't own TMNT

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After an abnormally warm start to the winter season, two days before Christmas a massive storm had hit New York dropping ten inches of snow. Clasping an earring to her ear, Zoey looked out at the city through her window. Snow was falling softly outside, adding to the powder already on the streets. The lights of the city shined and though she had soft jazz playing in the background to the tune of '_Silent Night_' she could still pick out a siren and a few curse words outside. Sighing, she turned from her window to look at herself in her full length mirror. She wore a strapless, green raised-hem dress with a skirt that dipped a few inches below her knees in the back. Accompanying the dress was a pair of gold, leaf shaped earrings with a whisper light matching necklace. Her open toed slingbacks were a matching gold color and looking in the mirror she smiled at her reflection.

She'd colored her hair, a spur of the moment decision and instead of the chocolate brunette she had honey colored locks that she gave luscious curls to that night. For the first time since her last dating fiasco two months ago she was going out with April and a few other girls for a night on the town. Maybe she wasn't ready to date, but she was ready to have a good time with friends, and damned if she wasn't looking forward to it.

Since that night with Raphael's unexpected visit she'd hidden herself away, engrossing herself with her work and closing out her friends. April had stopped by a few times, even Casey, but she'd managed to shoo them both away, insisting they were hampering her ability to work in peace. Truth be told? She'd been downing Ben and Jerry's like they'd been going out of business and wallowing all over again. When getting the phone call from April two days ago to snap the hell out of it and start living her life instead of letting a breakup control it, Zoey had made a promise to snap the hell out of it and get over herself.

So she'd rolled out of bed, jumped in the shower, and then had left her apartment to get her nails and hair done. That had made her feel loads better and she had called April that afternoon to make plans to go out on the town. She applied one more layer of gloss, grabbed her clutch and black Rowen jacket, and was out the door. She had called ahead for a taxi and it was waiting for her and she quickly got in, ready for her night out on the town.

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"Ok, I'm totally drunk," said Zoey, six hours later, in a back of another taxi with April. They had hit the bars and the booze and now at three in the morning, were heading home. "I mean really, REALLY drunk."

"Me too," said April, blinking rapidly so she didn't pass out. "I… I could totally go for some pizza right now."

"I know! Or a fish taco." Zoey scrunched her face up in confusion. "Which is weird cause I really don't like fish."

"Probably best we don't," said April, running a hand through her cropped hair, making it somewhat stick out of place. It made Zoey giggle a little to see the redhead so plastered because Zoey definitely drank a shit load more than she did. "I'd probably throw it up."

"Yeah. You had like, what? Two beers?" teased Zoey, earning a sock to the arm. "Ow!"

"I had like… five… I think… And don't forget that stupid shot you made me do!"

"The redheaded slut?" asked Zoey with a smirk.

"Yeah! That one!" April slouched back in her seat. "Can I tell ya a secret, but, you gotta promise to not tell NO ONE I told you. Okay?"

"Okay," said Zoey.

"Raph loves you." It was like a bucket of cold water was dumped on Zoey and any sort of blissful buzz she had was now nonexistent. "A lot, Casey said that Leo said that Mikey found him crying the other day and… you know… I think you should get together again cause…. Cause… yeah. Cause!"

"I really don't want to talk about this now," said Zoey, eyes watering, so she looked out at the city instead of the drunk woman next to her.

"Please consider it? He knows he made a mistake. Even came to me to ask me how to get you back."

"What did you say?" When getting no response Zoey turned in her seat to see April passed out. "Great. God damn it, April!"

Ten minutes later they were pulling up in front of April's apartment. Zoey knew she would have to half-carry the barely conscious woman up two flights of stairs and also knew that once she entered the warm apartment she wouldn't want to leave. So she paid the cabbie and said she didn't need him to wait because she was staying here. After getting April to somewhat wake up, Zoey got out her apartment keys then started walking with a half giggling half complaining April clutching her coat.

"Christ, April!" cursed Zoey as April slipped on some ice, almost taking the two of them down. "This is ridiculous!"

"Sorry," mumbled April.

"I swear to God of you make me fall down these flights of stairs and die I'm coming back and haunting your ass," grumbled Zoey as she practically carried April up the stairs. A light sheen of sweat was forming on her body as she carried the dead weight up one then two flights of stairs until finally coming to the main apartment door. She grunted as she pushed open the door then dumped April unceremoniously on the floor.

"Casey can deal with your drunk ass now," muttered Zoey, walking around the still body into the living room, then stilling in her tracks. There, with a bottle of beer in his three-fingered hand, was a stunned Raphael. Sitting next to him? Her cousin Casey, who also had a beer, as well as a horrified look on his face, as if he was afraid an atomic bomb was about to go off.

"Zo! What-what're you doin' here?"

"Dropping off your drunk as a skunk girlfriend, that's what."

"Oh! I, uh…"

"I dumped her by the stairs," said Zoey, pointing her thumb up over her shoulder. "Better go get her before she rolls over and falls down them. I'm sure your daughter would also appreciate April quietly going to bed. Unless you want to deal with her squealing."

"Right! I, uh, will be right back."

Casey stood, hesitant to go at first before reluctantly leaving the two of them alone. Zoey ran a hand through her hair, slightly disrupting the curls, looking down at the beer bottle Casey set down instead of her ex.

"So…" Her blue eyes rose as Raphael spoke. "Out with April tonight, huh?"

"Yeah. Girls night. April needed a break from Casey and Shadow." Zoey walked the rest of the way into the living room, stumbling only slightly, before making it to a recliner. She dumped her clutch by the chair then pulled off her shoes. She sighed in contentment, wiggling her toes, before easing back. "It was fun. As usual I ended up carting April home. Girl can't drink one beer without being tipsy."

"Yeah," said Raphael, smiling. "I know."

"So… what brings you here? Fight with Leo?"

"Somethin' like that," said Raphael.

"Mhm…" Zoey closed her eyes, smiling at her ex for the first time since the breakup.

"You colored your hair."

"Hmm?" she asked, opening her eyes.

"Your hair. It's different."

"Yeah, did it a couple days ago."

"I like it," he said. "I like it better dark but… I still like it like this too."

"Thanks."

Silence followed. They listened to the sounds of Casey asking April to cooperate with him and April insisting she was going to throw up and needed to stay in the bathtub. He told her to quit being stubborn and she ordered him to get her a pillow. Casey must've relented because soon he was slamming doors and April was scolding him for being too loud.

"You stayin'?" asked Raphael after silence filled the apartment.

"Was thinking about it. Not sure if I want to wake up to the sounds of April throwing up, though. Might call a cab in a bit."

"I can walk with ya, if ya want? Get ya home safe and into yer own bed instead of this crappy couch."

"I don't know, Raph," said Zoey with a frown.

"I ain't gunna try nothin'. I just don't want ya walkin' around. It's not safe," he said, and even though Zoey was still drunk, she had to admit he had a pretty good case.

"Let me grab a pair of April's boots. She has smaller feet than me but I'll jam mine in there so long as I don't have to wear these heels."

A moment later, Zoey came back wearing a pair of boots, and Raphael was dressed in his trench coat and hat. Casey appeared as they headed toward the door to leave. He was surprised that they were leaving together, but Zoey had to admit she saw a hint of a smile on his face. This didn't mean anything. So what if Raphael was walking her home? It didn't mean she was willing to get back together with the guy! It just meant she'd rather be in her own bed and away from a hungover April in the morning!

"Looks like winter is finally here," said Raphael. "Was enjoyin' the warmer December."

"Mmm…" She walked with her hands in her pockets with her clutch and keys and Raphael also walked with his hands in his pockets. "I like the snow."

"I remember," said Raphael, and Zoey was taken back in time with a flash of them walking arm in arm in Central Park one winter night. It made her shake her head to be rid of the thoughts. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. When she caught sight of the first taxi, she was out of there! "So…"

"Can we not talk right now? Please?" She swayed a little, the alcohol affecting her balance and equilibrium, and so Raphael put a hand on her elbow to steady her. "I need to focus on walking…"

"Right." He didn't move his hand, so she pulled on her elbow. "Knock it off, let me help you."

"I'm fine."

"Fine." He took his hand away. "Next time yer about ta fall over, I'm letting ya fall on yer ass."

"Fine!"

"Fine," he growled, jamming his hands in his pockets, having the same thoughts are her about this being a bad idea. However, her giggling had him looking over at her, a dumbstruck look on his face as her giggling turned to full out laughter. He joined in when getting what she was laughing about. Them. They were acting like they used to act before… Before the accident.

"We're a hoot," she said, linking her arm through his, but fighting against the urge to rest her head against his shoulder. "Thank you for walking me."

"It's no problem. You know that."

"Hmm… yeah. I do."

They arrived at her building and she handed him her keys to get the doors opened to the main door then hers. She tugged off her coat and Aprils' boots while he stood on the welcome mat. She turned to face him and took the keys he offered her. She stilled when his fingertips ran down the length of her arm.

"I meant what I said earlier. You look gorgeous."

"Raph…"

"I know, I know." He put both hands up in surrender. "Off limits. Ya want nothin' ta do with me. I get it."

"Stop." She put her hand up to the bridge of her nose and pinched it, looking a lot like April did when Casey did something stupid and she was fighting the urge to hit him. "You know I need time."

"How much?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, hands dropping to her sides, blue eyes locking with his and looking lost. He stepped to her and she cursed the alcohol for working in cahoots with her heart instead of her head. She didn't stop him when he cupped her warm cheeks with his cool hands. She didn't stop him as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She also didn't stop him as he pulled her into his body, his hard plastron pressing into the soft curves the silky material did nothing to hide. She returned the affectionate embrace and even tilted her head up to press her lips to his cheek. She felt him stiffen at the contact, arms tensing around her body as she pressed her lips closer to his own. "I do miss you."

"Zo…"

"Stay with me tonight," she said, throwing out everything she had just told herself not to do with him. "Please?"

"Yer drunk. Hell, I'm even a little buzzed. We can't do this now. Fuck I want to…I'd give anythin'… I don't want ya hatin' me."

"Raph…" Zoey knew she wasn't playing fair. She fingers started undoing the trenchcoat buttons and her cheek nuzzled against his. "Just lay with me?"

"Ah, hell, yer not playin' fair," he muttered, voicing her thoughts out loud.

"I never play fair," she teased, hands going under the now open coat. "Stay with me…"

Raphael did what anyone in his situation would probably do. He let her guide him to her bed, dropping his hat and coat to the floor. She pulled back the covers and slipped in while he slipped off his weapon's belt, bandana, and pads. He climbed in behind her, instantly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close against his plastron. Fuck his morals; he tossed those fuckers out the window. He wanted to be with her, and if this would be the one last night he got to hold her, then he was taking it. He nuzzled the side of her neck and sighed deep as her hands rested over his. His last thoughts before falling asleep were that he loved this woman, and he was going to do anything and everything to get her back.

**TBC… In the final chapter :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Note: The final chapter! Thanks for reading, and make sure to check out: _To Catch a Thief!_

Dis: I don't own TMNT

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Zoey scrambled eggs vigorously in a bowl as the newscast played in the background of her living room. She poured the mixture into a hot pan and watched as little bubbles formed, the smell of sizzling eggs hitting her nose. She turned her head to her bedroom door, a sudden wave of sadness overtaking her. She had woken up alone this morning with a pounding headache and a sheet of paper under her cheek. One phrase: _I love you_, written in his surprisingly neat handwriting, was all Raphael had said in his note.

She knew why he left, he'd been afraid that she would hate him for "_taking advantage_". The idiot, _she_ was the one that took advantage last night. She knew he wanted her back and had given him incentive to stay. Standing here in her robe with her hair pulled back in a messy braid she had a lot to think about, like if she wanted him back, and how to go about it if she ended up going down that road again.

Grabbing a spatula she maneuvered the eggs around until they were cooked and then slid them onto a plate, she seasoned them with salt and pepper, turned off the stove, and then snagged her two pieces of buttered toast before settling against the cushions of her sofa. The news was the same, this crime, that crime, murder, and robberies: but something had her perking up. She reached for the remote to turn it up.

_"… in other news Hunter Evans has been charged for his involvement with a murder of a seventeen year old boy last week…"_

A picture of Hun was on the screen and Zoey quickly set her plate down on the coffee table and bolted to her purse which she found sitting on her kitchen table instead of the floor where she'd put it last. Her phone started ringing before she got to it and seeing the caller I.D. she quickly answered.

"You're watching?"

"Hell yeah," answered her cousin. "Bastard is finally about to go down for something."

"Hopefully." Zoey was half listening to the news. "You know how Shredder can be; he'll either get him cleared of all charges or have him killed before he can say anything about the Foot."

"Either way, it makes me smile. So, uh, how'd it go last night?"

"Ugh, not now Case."

"C'mon, Zo, I'm meeting the guys this afternoon to celebrate. I gotta know if my pal is going ta be in a mood or not."

"You're going to the lair today?" Zoey bit her bottom lip as her cousin's hum of affirmation. "Can… can I come with?"

"What for?" he asked suspiciously.

"Cause the henchmen that is half responsible for me almost getting killed and being a burden to our family since I was five is being put away and I want to celebrate too," she said bitingly.

"Geez! Fine! You can come with. Jus don't start nothin' all right?"

"Best behavior. Promise."

"Ok… Be there in an hour."

"I'll be ready."

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Zoey inspected herself in the mirror. She wore her favorite pair of washed jeans and since she knew she was going in the sewer, her least favorite pair of black, knee high boots that she had tucked her jeans into so that they didn't get wet. She tossed on a simple white tank top over her bra then pulled on an Aztec patterned cardigan for warmth. She redid the braid in her hair to make it neat and pinned the flyaway strands back. She just put the finishing touches on her mascara when the buzzer rang. She spritzed herself with what she knew to be Raph's favorite perfume, grabbed her purse as well as another coat, and then headed out her door. She met April and Casey on the street and together they went to the nearest manhole. Being as inconspicuous as possible they entered the sewer and soon were heading to the guys' place.

"How you feeling, April?" asked Zoey.

"Ugh, horrible, but the news of Hun made me feel a lot better than I was before. I popped a couple Advil, they're starting to take effect… I see you're doing just fine."

"I had eggs. They are my hangover food. Well, eggs and pizza, of which they'd best be ordering."

"Casey told me you left with Raph." April ignored Casey's hum of warning. "How did that go?"

"Surprisingly well," said Zoey. "We talked, we laughed, and we fell into bed together."

"WHAT?" chorused April and Casey, their echoes traveling deep into the tunnels.

"Yes, the makeup sex was great," said Zoey, making Casey scrunch his nose in distaste.

"Are you messing around with us?" asked April.

"Maybe," said Zoey with a smile.

"I hate it when she does that," muttered Casey, making the girls laugh.

"But… things with you and Raphael aren't… weird?" asked April.

"We'll be fine," said Zoey. "I'll behave and I'm certain with much goading from not only Leo but Casey, he will too. So where's Shadow?"

"With Angel for the night."

"Mikey will be sad he didn't get a chance to race around with her tonight," said Zoey.

They continued the rest of their trek in silence, which must've been a new record for Casey, to not make any noise for so long. When getting to the secret entrance Zoey watched Casey as he pulled the magical lever and suddenly instead of cold, dark, smelly sewer they were in a warmer, brighter place that smelled of pizza.

"Casey! April! Where's-Zoey?"

"Hey Mikey," said Zoey, taking off her coat.

"ZOEY!" Michelangelo launched forward, taking the girl down with him as he wrapped her up in a hug. She grunted slightly as she hit the floor but was soon laughing as Mikey rolled around with her on the floor. "I've missed you!"

"Good to see you, too, Mikey, now get off!"

"Oh!" Mikey was quickly on his feet then helping her up. "Sorry."

"It's okay, I'd get overly excited if I got to meet myself as well," she said with a cheeky grin.

"Haha," said Mikey, taking her coat, then April's and Casey's, and hanging them up on a coatrack. "Leo and Don are in the kitchen grabbing a slice. Splinter is making tea of you don't want soda and Raph…" Mikey broke off, casting a worried glance at Zoey and she did her best not to look down. "He's in his room. I'll… tell him you're all here."

"Well that wasn't awkward," muttered Zoey as Mikey rushed off. April patted her on the back as they went into the kitchen. Like Mikey, Leo and Don were surprised to see her, and offered her tight hugs but she luckily didn't end up on the floor. Leo cast a worried glance at the doorway toward Raph's room and Zoey reassured him with her eyes that it would be ok. "It's good to see you guys again."

"Likewise, sis," said Mikey as he entered the kitchen… without Raphael.

Zoey didn't worry. She knew him all too well. He was still in his room, she was certain, composing himself for seeing her. She knew he didn't want her to see him vulnerable like he's been the past few days and that he might even ignore her, or greet her casually.

"Yo Case!" Zoey almost jumped when hearing the greeting from the other room. Raphael. "April. I see yer looking betta than when I last saw ya."

"Hello Raph," said April and even though Zoey couldn't see her, she was certain her friend was looking to the ground in embarrassment.

Zoey steeled herself up for this moment. Calmly she took a paper plate, took a slice of pepperoni pizza as well as a beer, and then walked out into the main room where Casey and Raphael were discussing something serious.

"…Lundqvisit's fortieth career shut out, they took dem Jets fer all they was worth…"

Hockey. Of course. However, upon her entrance, amber eyes strayed from the conversation to find her. They weren't hostile, nor sad, just curious. She gave a wave and he acknowledged it with a nod, eyes still on her, while Casey talked upon the upcoming game against the Flyers.

"By the way, Dudette," said Mikey, wrapping an arm over her shoulders and steering her toward April and Don. "Love the hair. Blonde is your color."

"Think so?" asked Zoey. "Some people said they like it better dark. I might go back to that next time."

"You could make blue hair look gorgeous," commented April, making Zoey blush happily at the compliment.

"Whatever, April, if I tried to make my hair red I'd fail. You work that color out!" said Zoey with a wink.

Zoey sat on the sofa with her pizza and beer and mingled mostly with Mikey and Donatello. Casey kept Raphael busy and Zoey was certain the reason behind not talking to Leonardo that much was because he was keeping an eye on his brother. Soon more drinks were passed around and when Splinter retired for the night Zoey was certain she was on her fifth beer. She was surely tipsy and by mound of bottles by Casey and the sleepy expression on April's face: they were probably spending the night.

Donatello and a VERY giggly Michelangelo excused themselves at the same time and Zoey thought nothing of it until her ex sat down next to her. They sat in silence for a moment, her with her feet tucked underneath her body and knees pointed in his direction and him leaned back fully, legs spread out in a comfortable position.

"Enjoying the party?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"I've been thinkin' on how tah get near ya all damn night. Whenever I tried Case or Leo had somethin' they had tah tell me. What's goin' on? You tell 'em you don't wanna be around me or somethin'?"

"No. I didn't. Maybe they were worried us together would start a fight," said Zoey, thumbnail now messing with the label on her beer bottle, eyes down until she timidly looked up. He was closed off, giving nothing away, his features completely schooled. She bit her bottom lip and looked away, gaze focusing on April who was passing out on the chair. "Two nights in a row."

Raphael followed her gazed then chuckled. "I take it yer stayin' tonight."

"Probably. Maybe leave you a note instead of saying goodbye when we go tomorrow."

He flinched a little, hands clenching around his own beer bottle, so she put her hand on his arm.

"Come with me."

She stood up then started walking. She made sure no one was paying much attention to her before exiting the party and heading to the dojo. She waited only a moment before Raphael joined her. She turned to him, eyes focusing in the darkness and falling upon the shadowed turtle. She walked to him, having sat her beer down on the ground and shrugged off her cardigan. She shivered slightly from the cold hair but she wouldn't let it deter her from taking his hand and pressing it against the spot between her breasts. She felt him tremble, but knew it wasn't from desire, but from remembering.

"I don't regret it," she said softly, keeping her hand in his. "I'd do it again."

"Zo…"

"You can't tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing. That if you saw Shredder coming at me with his blades drawn, me injured on the ground, that you wouldn't try to stop it."

"Fuck Zoey I had to watch as he…" He pulled her in against him. "It was my fault. If you had neva met me den you'd have been safe. It… it was all my fault."

"Hun has had it in for my family since I can remember. He might've taken me regardless of me knowing you or not. He wanted to see Casey suffer, THAT is why he took me… Yes, he found the shell-cell in my purse and that is the reason he took me to the Shredder but imagine what could have happened if he HADN'T. Think I'd still be alive? I'd probably be dead at the bottom of the Hudson."

"Don't talk like dat," he begged, arms tightening.

"Raphael, you need to stop blaming yourself for me getting hurt. Look what it's done to us. You left me at one of the most fragile times in my life and-"

"I KNOW!" He pulled away from her, looking more like a tiger in a cage than a turtle in a sewer. "You don't think I know dis now? I had Leo down my shell den Casey kicked the shell outta me-"

"I didn't know that," said Zoey.

"Well he did and even Mikey refused to talk to me fer a week cause of my leavin' ya like that. You know how hard it was? Lookin' back now yes, I was fucking stupid, and it was the biggest mistake of my damn life. I HATE myself for what I did to ya!"

Seeing him like this, tearing himself apart, made Zoey's eyes water and she sniffled, battling the cry session and failing. Raphael was soon there again, both hands cupping her cheeks, looking down at her with a love he reserved for her and her only.

"I'm dyin' without ya Zo. Take me back. Please take me back."

Something happened that no one thought the hot-headed turtle capable of until meeting this girl. He cried, fat tears falling down his green cheeks as he pulled her against him. She felt the wetness in her hair and felt tears of her own letting loose. Her arms went around his body.

"I love ya," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she answered. She turned her head to press her lips against his and his startled gasp transitioned into a desperate moan as he kissed her back. They pulled apart after a moment with smiles on their faces. "Do you promise not to be an idiot ever again? I love you, and I know what it means to be with you, and the danger I could be in. I can accept it, can you?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I can."

"Good. Now that the hard part is over…" She pressed her cheek against his. "Let's go back to the party, then go to bed." He hissed in a breath and she giggled. "Nuh uh, just sleeping, you have a lot to make up to me before you get sex again."

"What?" he asked, feigning disappointment. "C'mon!"

"You have to kiss my ass for a while."

"That can be arranged," he said with a leer.

"Could you BE any more of a pig right now?" she asked with a grin and a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah." He pulled her back into his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "But I won't. I love ya, Zoey Jones."

"And I you, Hamato Raphael."

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**END**

Short and sweet mini-fic…. Reviews wanted and cherished! J


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